Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Top Ten Jobs for the Taking if I've Fucked up my HSC

10. Cock fight commentator
09. Party clown
08. Kissing booth operator
07. The guy who writes those woeful jokes on the back of chip packets
06. Janitor at Fairfield Chase
05. Joke-writer for Christmas crackers
04. Rewind guy at the video store
03. Proactiv model
02. Waterboy for the Australian National Lacrosse Team
01. Author of fortune cookie messages, based in Brooklyn, New York

See? It ain't so bad.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I Have No Drive to Drive

On Wednesday, January 14, 2009, I turned 16. I could have taken my Learner's driving test on that day if I wanted to. "I'll wait two weeks or so until I try for my L's," I thought to myself. I just felt as though I needed that breathing space of two weeks before I tackled something such as driving.

It is Tuesday, December 14, 2010, and I still do not have my L's. I mean, it's not like I took the test and failed. I haven't even taken the test, period. If it's any consolation, I've taken the practice test numerous times, and have passed on most occasions. Now, for many teens, learning to drive is an exciting process - something they have craved since their junior years. A vehicle is generally associated with freedom. Most teens enjoy the prospect of driving because it gives their social lives some much-needed leverage. The thought of being able to drive to a place by oneself - a place where one wants to be, is tantalising to many teens. If a young adult has his/her own personal car, then that prospect is even more appealing. The adolescent mindset is one that generally has a focus on parental exclusion. Most teens don't want to be seen with Mum and Dad. They want to express individual will, and frequently associate with friends.

For whatever reason/s, those motivations have not come over me. I just haven't had the desire to learn to drive. OK...I was kinda lying when I said for whatever reason/s. I can think of a few specific reasons why I haven't gone for my L's yet. I will go through each reason in the form of an elaborated list.

1. A bad experience as a child - When I was approximately 9 years old, my dad had to get an old, faulty car to a smash repairs place (or something like that) at the end of my street. So, it was decided that my dad and brother would push start the car while I would control the steering and acceleration. Yes, it was illegal. Anyway, I lost control of the car, nearly caused an accident, and crashed into the gutter. Thankfully, no one was harmed. My dad and brother yelled at me, and I ran off home, frightened and confused. To this day, that experience remains quite vivid.
2. Growing up in a matriarchal household - If you didn't know, my parents divorced in 2003. For the past seven years, I've lived with my mum and my brother. My mum has never driven in her life - she doesn't have a licence, and has a self-confessed 'phobia of cars and driving'. Thus, for my adolescent years, I haven't had a father figure to 'show me the ropes', or to encourage me to drive. It seems that most teens these days learn to drive with their father. Of course, there's my brother, who is a good source of support, but in my opinion, he cannot be a direct substitute for a father. My brother has always been a good driver, and actually has an interest in cars, however I believe that he lacks the 'wisdom' or the 'experience' of a parent driver.
3. My brother teaching me - Speaking of my brother, he is the one who'll be teaching me to drive when I eventually get my L's. As I said, he is a good driver, and I have complete trust in him. It's just that I'm worried about how he'd react if I made a mistake (and I WILL make mistakes). In the past, he has told me off for very minor mistakes that I've made. He is quite impatient at times, and I would feel as if I was under too much pressure by learning under him. The fact of the matter is, I will be learning under him. I would actually prefer him to teach me than some driving instructor.
4. Fear of failure/question of difficulty - OK, this reason is slightly stupid, but I'm concerned that driving a car may actually be difficult. Of course, my bad experience as a child contributes to me having this feeling. I often think "Surely, driving cannot be difficult. Just look at how many people are on the road. Look at how many people my age are learning to drive. If the majority of people can drive, then surely, I can do it too." Despite thinking that, I still have my doubts. I want to learn to drive using an automatic transmission car. I honestly don't think I have the coordination or reflexes to drive a manual car. Since there are no automatic cars at my house, that makes things kinda difficult.

Well, those are my reasons for not yet attaining my Learner's licence. Now, many people, including some of my friends, are continually giving me a hard time over the fact that I still don't have my L's. I have laughed off many of their comments, but sometimes I find them to be quite annoying. There's a running joke between two of my friends - Lucas and Nicholas. They have told me numerous times that if I haven't got my L's by the time I am 18, they will pay for my L's test and drive me to the nearest RTA on my birthday. For some reason, I think it may come to that stage, sadly. Anyway, the bottom line of this blog is that you shouldn't make judgements about people without knowing the full story. It's not that I'm lazy. People don't remain lazy for this long. I happen to have numerous psychological reasons for my decision, which I have explained in this blog, and so you shouldn't just dismiss my decision as one based purely on laziness. Think before you speak, and allow me to go at my own pace.


Tuesday, December 7, 2010


OK, let me just cut to the chase and tell you all that I haven't had the motivation to blog as of late. The last time that I blogged was November the 25th. Since then, I haven't had any impulses or desires to spill my thoughts on this site. Nothing has happened that has triggered a creative buzzer within me. My friend Lucas has told me that since graduating from school, he has lost some of his creativity. For example, he doesn't play his bass as often. Maybe the same thing has happened to me. Perhaps I'm still adjusting to post-HSC life. I feel like I'm letting my readers down by not blogging that much anymore. Sure; the previous sentence sounds a bit egotistic...but I only included it because people have genuinely complimented me on my posts. Some people have told me that they read my blogs before they go to bed, almost like a ritual. Others say my blogs provide them with relaxation. Anyway, enough about the compliments. I originally set up this site with the intention of blogging daily. That lasted for almost two weeks, but I realised that I was forcing myself to blog, rather than allowing my mind to unravel itself naturally. I was struggling to come up with good topics. It felt like I was writing in essay form in each post. That formula seemed to be a success, as far as blogs go, but it soon became tedious for me. My next decision was to blog about four times a week, but I didn't even have the motivation for you have discovered. So now, I've decided that I will blog when I feel like blogging. I'm not imposing any rules on myself. That way, there is no pressure to blog, nor is there any guilt over not blogging. In a way, this is a positive thing, because I may produce a blog when you least expect it. I don't know about you guys, but I'm a big fan of surprises. Based on my blog frequency as of late, this entry will come as a surprise.

I've entitled this entry Phases, referring to an aspect of my mentality. That is, when I discover something new (e.g. blogging), I become attached to it. I may become attached to it for a few weeks, perhaps two months. Sometimes, the 'phase' only lasts for a few days. I think that every human being goes through their own 'phases'. I'm sure that a lot of you have gone through a phase where you've watched The Simpsons every day of the week for a considerable amount of time. Then you may not have watched the show for six months, only to resume watching it for another four weeks. Earlier this year, I went through a one-week phase of being addicted to crosswords, after watching the documentary Wordplay (a gripping film, may I add). I still do the occasional crossword, but I am no longer in a phase where I'm addicted to crosswords. One significant phase that I am currently in is listening to the music of Crowded House and Neil Finn. For those who don't know, Neil Finn is the frontman of Crowded House. I've been listening to their music consistently for at least three months now. I've been familiar with the band for ten years, probably. But only now have I become addicted to their music. They are practically the only band I listen to's almost disturbing, in a way. For the record, Crowded House is my favourite band, and Neil Finn is my favourite singer-songwriter.

So, now that I've provided you with a couple of examples of 'phases', you may be able to understand why I haven't been blogging too often lately. The period when I was blogging daily was just a phase. Sure, I enjoyed it, but the reality is that it didn't feel natural. The excitement of blogging has left me, however the enjoyment of it still remains. Yes; there is a difference. Blogging no longer feels like new terrain for me. In saying that, I'm not a seasoned veteran, either. I've just gotten over that first hump. I now know what it feels like to blog, hence I don't get a thrill from writing blogs anymore. That's all for now...I can't tell you when I'll produce my next blog. You'll find that out, soon enough.